ChemistryViews.org featured an article in which we asked readers to vote for their favorite chemistry joke and to submit their own. As you can see below, we received many great jokes.

However, not many left their e-mail addresses. Out of the jokes with associated e-mail addresses (red bars in the graph below) the winning joke is:

Fluorine and Argon decide to go out and grab some H, O, Ti…. Fluorine is having a great time at the nightclub, bonding with everyone, while Argon is all alone. Fluorine calls him out: “Come on dude join us and have some fun!” Argon responds: “I can’t, I never interact!!!”

Congratulations to Charles B. Nader who will receive a copy of the book Molecules that Changed the World.

Mr. Nader, which was your favorite joke from our article (other than your own)?

In fact I can’t decide between “Never trust atoms; they make up everything” and “What do we do with chemists when they die? We barium”. I honestly thought one of these two would win!

What is your field of research?

Molecular chemistry at the interface of biology.

Why did you choose to study chemistry?

I always had a strong affinity towards sciences but I decided to follow the path of chemistry because of its beauty, the fact that it is truly multidisciplinary and the unlimited possibilities that it offers, from discovering and creating new things, to understanding how nature works, which is in my belief quite astonishing and magnificent.

What do you enjoy most about chemistry?

There are so many things I love about chemistry, but if I had to choose one it would be the fact that chemistry will always surprise you!

What do you use ChemistryViews.org for?

To quickly keep track of interesting facts or the important discoveries made in all the fields of chemistry.

Congratulations, and thank you to everybody who submitted a joke or voted.

Breakdown of Voting

1. How do sulphur and oxygen communicate? A sulphone
2. Never trust atoms; they make up everything!
3. I think I just lost an electron! – Are you sure? I’m positive!
4. Fluorine and Argon decide to go out and grab some H, O, Ti … Fluorine is having a great time at the nightclub, bonding with everyone, while Argon is all alone. Fluorine calls out to him: “Come on dude join us and have some fun!” Argon responds: “I can’t, I never interact!!!”
5. Why doesn’t the king use a golden night pot? Because aqua regia dissolves gold.
6. A bear from Montana and a bear from Alaska fall into the water at the same time. Which dissolves faster? The one from Alaska – he’s a polar bear.
7. What do we do with chemists when they die? We barium.
8. What did the doctor say to the hyper acidity patient? If you have pain take “antacid” but not “ant acid”.
9. When a chemist is ill if you can’t helium or curium your only option is to barium.
10. A physicist, biologist, and chemist went to the ocean for the first time. The physicist saw the ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked into the ocean. He was drowned and never returned. The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked into the ocean. He too, never returned. The chemist waited for a long time. Then he wrote his the observations: “The physicist and the biologist are soluble in ocean water”.
11. How do you describe a military parade in the parlance of thermodynamics: Gibbs energy.
12. How do you describe a typical soup served in Guantanamo prison: Infinitely diluted soup.
13. How do you recognize a crazy chemist? – By the magnetic stir bar in the aquarium.
14. Don´t worry, be rusty entropy of hydrogen atom.
15. What is a teacher in HCL? A solved problem.
16. I like making bad chemistry jokes, because all the good ones Argon.
17. A guy walks into a pub, and asks for a pint of adenosinetriphosphate. The barman says “That will be 80p [ATP]!”
18. My name is BOND! IONIC BOND. Taken, not shared.
19. Who manganese these jokes? InCr ease the reaction rate.
20. A neutron walks into a bar and asks, “How much for a beer?” The bartender looks at the neutron and says, “For you, no charge.”

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• Fun with Chemistry: Vote & Submit Chemistry Jokes 2013
• Winner of Chemistry Jokes 2012